“If I look perfect, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame.” – Brenne Browne
An emphasised focus of the Virgo’s journey is the purification process. Virgo is the sign of cleansing and detoxing. A proportionate part of the Virgo nature relentlessly and tirelessly attempts to erode their sense of shame. The ego finished construction in Leo, and it certainly wasn’t built to last. It faces its first conflict in Virgo. After the glare and applause of Leo the star was discarded. And Virgo is suddenly overwrought with guilt, like the lights have gone out and the whole time they didn’t hear anyone suffering. Now it seems to be all that the Virgo can hear. It becomes important for Virgo to develop awareness of the world beyond the ‘only me seeing eye’ produced in Leo. Instead of seeking the acclaim of centre stage, the individual takes a step back and retreats to the back of the show. Virgo can feel so consumed with shame and disgrace that she decides out of sight is out of mind, and attempt to remain invisible as possible. Virgo is a sign associated with responsibility, self discipline, and self regulation. The Virgo can feel intense and disproportionate shame for the most mundane of human activities like eating, sleeping in, or accidentally spilling something. There is an ego fighting wildly in Virgo, aware of its inevitable departure. And it resides with the heart and hands of a saint whose active will is pure altruism and entirely void of ego. It can create the confusing internal conflict confronted by Virgo as they endure the ego’s cracking whip and the heart’s seemingly inherent sense of strain and disgrace, desiring only to recognise and assist people that they feel deserve the rest and rectitude, that being anybody but themselves. The blinding image of perfectionism conceived by the Virgo mind flashes continuously, hauntingly, and only increases the sense of inadequacy and inferiority.
Virgo is being punished by the ego. Leo was already fatally wounded by her ego. In Leo the ego was crowned and grandiosity balloons into disproportion. It toyed with Leo by pumping her full of praise and compliments, then it suddenly switches off the bright lights and taunts its victim cruelly. Leo is at the ego’s its hostage and it wants to be recognised and appraised. It tells Leo she will be nothing without it. In Virgo, it’s the opposite assault occurring. The ego desires to dissolve any semblance of self worth and value until she becomes a shell of herself, trapped in the ego’s unrealistic demands and feeling to worthless to even put up a fight. The Virgo can undergo this punishment because it’s her obligation to begin the corroding process, the battle that she will begin and Scorpio will finish. She must recognise, understand, and integrate the conditions and needs of other people into their own personal experience. Despite all of this, the Virgo is also being reprimanded by the inner saint for the acknowledging the ego at all, and her supposed selfishness and self gratifying behaviours. Yes, even the divinely saint inside Virgo is a perfectionist. This is why the Virgo can become very self restricting and critical. She can view herself as contaminated or poison and sense body aches, pains, and diseases that don’t exist. Perceiving herself as inherently defiled, the individual feels alien and revolted in her own body. She can force herself through destructive conditions like hardline routine, famine, compulsive exercise, exhausting work scheduling, extremely high goals in schooling, basically wherever she can direct obsessive and anxious energy into the pursuit of unattainable images. Through all of this, Virgos will drop everything in a moment to help somebody in need. And sometimes the greatest act of service she could do for us would be taking a moment for herself to reflect on the qualities that endear and delight loved ones. The qualities like wit, proficiency, reliability, and intelligence and quirkiness that make her a real saint. She needs to realise that without her flaws she would cease to exist at all. In recognising her greatness she serves humanity.
Hi friends. Earlier tonight, my dad came home from work drunk and belligerent. He began to tell me that I don’t contribute anything (despite having spent almost $300 in foodstamps in the past three weeks to help feed our family of five, starting to donate plasma twice a week to help with other expenses, making sure he has dinner every night, cleaning, and helping take care of my mother with MS.) The argument escalated when he began hurling vicious insults at both my mother and me. He lost his shit when I defended her, yanked me out of my chair so hard by my arm that he almost dislocated my shoulder and threw my body onto the concrete patio where I landed on the hip that was already making it hard for me to walk. He also violently pushed my mother away, almost hitting her in the face when she tried to stop him. All of this is over money. I have no idea how much money will convince him to at least temporarily stop this physical and verbal abuse while I continue my job search, but I have to give him something in the hopes that he will leave me and my mother alone. ANY help or reblogs are greatly appreciated.
medranochav 