Sometimes i wonder if being honest and genuine makes me seem childish to others? So many people i interact with talk about how much they lie, say whatever they want to get what they want, look at talking to other people as a means to an end. It’s too exhausting to put on a mask and devise a plan and i just end up always wearing my heart on my sleeve :/

I feel similarly. I grew up in an abusive household, so feelings have always felt like a game. As an adult, I’m real enough with myself to know what I’m feeling. But I’ve constantly been in this dynamic, whereby I can’t be vulnerable enough to express my feelings (despite having a trusted circle) out of fear of coming off as manipulative. On the flip side, staying in your feelings is confusing and isolating and it’s unfair to those around you because you suffer in silence and that never goes unnoticed. That’s a struggle I’ve dealt with a lot in my early 20s but I feel like I’m a point where I’m just unapologetic about my feelings now

The vultures are waiting to pick your bones, so at the VERY least you deserve to trust your own damn self. Kanye says feelings are facts and I believe that. If I’m cr*zy because of it then so be it. Being emotionally manipulative (like the folks you mentioned) is a mainstay in the rat race, so you’re going to encounter it. I encourage you to resist that. Transparency is simpler for you and those around you. Also, just take people at face value too. Don’t be neurotic about their intentions. You’ll know in your gut if they’re playing games. ALWAYS trust your gut.

that being said, not everyone is entitled to your truth. just be as honest as you can in your relationships. it’s most important tho to be honest with yourself. You’re allowed to keep shit to yourself. that’s not deceptive (you’ll know when you’ve crossed that line)

Also honesty is not an invitation to be messy. Although it can be. Being unapologetic will put you in positions of accountability but baby you’ll be better for it! That’s growth… emotional maturity.

It’s about alloting your energy into meaningful purposes. You don’t want to exhaust yourself keeping up with someone else’s lie. your truth is the only one to live by and you’ll only know if your in alignment with that when you feel clear about what you’re feeling and confident about expressing yourself

PS the first thing I thought of when I read this ask was Jewel’s song “I’m Sensitive”… I’ll post it after I post this. It’s about the friction you’re experiencing. About not becoming totally cynical, desensitized, jaded and completely blinded in an effort to win. Feelings are our guidance system. We are feeling beings. To resist that is dangerous… why do you think men are the way they are??? omg jk!! [not really] but yeah accept and honor that intrinsic part of yourself💕💕💕💕